I was talking to my friend on the phone and then she almost got run over and i was obviously really concerned so i asked her if she was okay and after a moment she replied “there is a Jesus in the sky” in a really matter-of-fact sort of way
so obviously I thought something was seriously wrong but
i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.
And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it.
are you satan
"what would you do if you won the lottery?"
be you. whoever that is. your purest truth. be a blinding anomaly.
dying before your friends and welcoming them to hell like
I wish my name was brad so that I would be 75% rad
School and Tumblr photoset
"Mexicans are taking our jobs" but y’all took thousands of Africans to do yours
I am SICK and TIRED of people objecting to seeing women using their breasts for what they are actually for. BREASTFEEDING IS NOT VULGAR OR OBSCENE.
I support breastfeeding all the way, even if it is in public.
And the award winning one:
The biggest USB splitter I’ve seen
June 7th, 1942: Edward Hopper completes his best known painting, the seminal Nighthawks. When asked by a Chicago Tribute reporter about the philosophical meaning behind the diner having no clearly visible exits Hopper responded, “Shit. Fuck. I did it again. Goddamnit. Fuck. Not again. I did it again. Shit.” and slammed his hat on his leg.
how does this only have 150 notes
I fucking laughed so hard at this all artists are hilarious
This sign is in my doctors office above the scale and I really love it. It actually made me feel a lot better after reading it
do you ever fantasize about something and then realize what you’re fantasizing about and just be like haha wait